Have I mentioned I used to be a 90 kilo, 20 ciggies per day whingeing pessimist?

It’s true, I was and the thing I remember most about being that way was how little energy I had – physically, mentally and emotionally.  I couldn’t do anything physical for very long, I couldn’t concentrate for very long and I boy was I easily stressed.  I was never very enthusiastic about anything because everything seemed a bit too much effort and I cried a lot because, well, I was bloody miserable!

These days I’m the complete opposite and it’s due to 3 things:

1. Daily exercise

2. Healthy eating

3. Thinking good things

NOTE: I am far from an obsessed health nut nor am I a self righteous reformed smoker

By making small contributions to my health and well being on a daily basis means I have abundant energy to do everything I need to do plus take on a few challenges to keep life interesting. I enjoy my work and seldom feel over burdened by it. I have a good social life which occasionally renders me hung over from over indulgence in both alcohol and food. I have (most days) good tolerance levels to help me navigate my way forward as a full time single parent PLUS I have the time, energy and courage to embrace a love relationship with my gorgeous new beau, Bobby. 

All of this happens because I have the energy and attitude to make it happen.

It happens because my health is my priority.

It happens with great ease and plenty of smiles because I highly value the benefits - I love life!

Want more energy to live and love your life? 

Do the daily 3.

♥ Smiler

How flexible are you?

Are you flexible enough to touch your toes?

Are you flexible enough to adapt when plans change?

Are you flexible enough to peel your spine up like a cobra?

Are you flexible enough to accept someone elses opinion or ideas?

Are you flexible enough to ‘make do’ when your usual preferences are unavailable?

Are you flexible enough to try a new activity and THEN form an opinion?

Are you flexible enough to bend your arm around your back & touch your shoulder blades?

Are you flexible enough to manage the inevitable changes life brings?

Hopefully by answering these questions you will realise that flexibility is an extremely valuable thing to work on – physically & mentally.

Stay flexible: exercise, eat well and think good things!

Love,

Smiler

I love ‘to do lists’. I always have one on the go and I get a huge buzz out of ticking stuff off. Some things on my list are really really important and some are just things I want to do or am interested in doing.

I write a ’to do’ every Monday starting with the stuff I didn’t get done the week before. Some things are transferred across for many weeks before they either get done or left off completely because I’ve either lost interest or time has run out on it like buying concert tickets or something like that. I don’t get stressed about not ticking things off, it’s my to do list and I’ll get through it how and when I like. I include work and personal things so there’s always a good variety of things to do throughout the week. Anything which must be done that week gets an asterisk and all asterisked items get done on Monday/Tuesday so I’m free to float through the rest of the list as I please. 

My health and wellbeing are my #1 priority so I always have stuff to do in that area, for instance this week I have listed ’enjoy a long bath with sandalwood oil’ and it’s my intention to do that tonight right after I’ve vacuumed! Just in case you struggle to come up with good ideas for your health and well being I’ve made a fine list of 7 things to consider popping on your list this week which I believe will make you feel extra good. 

1. Do at least 20 mins of brisk walking everyday and appreciate how enlivening it is.

2. Watch an old film and appreciate how far cinema has come.

3. Buy a new book which will stimulate you in a new way and appreciate the fresh ideas it brings.

4. Make a HUGE pot of bolognaise sauce (or vegetarian equivalent) and appreciate what really goes in to good food (love!) 

5. Buy a neighbour flowers or if money is tight give them some of your bolognaise sauce.

6. Stretch and mobilise your body according to what it tells you it needs and appreciate how intelligent it is (it will tell you if you listen)

7. Sit quietly for 5 minutes in your favourite chair, eyes closed and just breath. Appreciate the calm it brings in the moment and the clarity it brings afterwards.

Have a super smiley feel good week.

♥ Smiler

‘Everyone’s different’ – we’ve heard it a squillion times yet we still struggle not to be affected by the words and actions of people in our lives who we find ‘difficult’ (of course you and I are perfect and never at fault in any misunderstanding!) 

Over the years I have worked with many people who need to find a way to manage difficult relationships. I have both empathy and understanding for these people because I too have had to navigate my way forward with difficult people. I’m only referring to relationships with people who cannot easily be discarded such as partner, spouse, child, sibling, boss, colleague, coach, team mate, friend and in one particularly eccentric case, a dog (no guessing who was the difficult person in that relationship!)

Here are 5 simple strategies for dealing with or what I prefer to call ‘loving’ difficult people. I hope they’re helpful.

1. Don’t take it personally. Difficult people have difficulty dealing with feelings, theirs and others/yours.  Their behaviour is all about them and very little, if nothing to do with you so don’t take it personally – they’re just struggling to cope with themselves and the world around them. 

2. Pick your battles wisely. Before you react, take a few moments to ask yourself, is this issue really worth the battle? Most often, it’s not.

3. Seek the good.  Yes, they can be nasty, bossy and inconsiderate but they can also be very funny, caring and generous. Focus on their good points and you’ll be less reactive and less affected.

4. Ask them for insight. The hardest part about being close to a difficult person is to know how to deal with them when they’re in a mood. Best answer to this is to ask them, but please, make sure you do this when they’re not in a mood! (If this approach backfires revert to number 3!)

5. Semi-detach. No one has the power to take away your smile, unless you let them. When a difficult person is in a mood the best thing you can do is to semi-detach yourself from them so you don’t get sucked in to the negativity. Calmly tell them you’re ‘popping out for a minute’ and let them be alone with their mood while you enjoy some fresh air and good thoughts outside. 

If you’d like further help with this there’s a fabulous book which has just been released called ‘Tricky People. How to deal with horrible types before they ruin your life’. It’s by Andrew Fuller and it provides detailed explainations of all the tricky personality types and how to deal with them.

I wish you a very harmonious path forward with all the difficult people in your life and don’t forget to look in the mirror from time to time, there may just be a touch of tricky-ness in you worth loving too!

♥ Smiler.

Essentially my core belief is that the more you smile the happier you are and the more value you are to everyone around you.

A no-brainer I know but have you noticed that not many adults smile that much, they’re too caught up in the seriousness of adulthood, namely responsibility.

Just because we have loads of things to do and loads of committments to meet doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy and smile at life.

Here’s what the Dalai Lama has to say about smiling:

“The smile is a very important feature of the human face. But because of human intelligence, even that good part of human nature can be used in the wrong way, such as sarcastic smiles or diplomatic smiles which only serve to create suspicion. I feel that a genuine, affectionate smile is very important in our day-to-day lives. How one creates that smile largely depends on one’s own attitude. It is illogical to expect smiles from others if one does not smile oneself. Therefore, one can see that many things depends on one’s own behaviour.”

Just reading that brings a smile to my face!

Bottom line:  Whatever makes you smile do more of it and whoever makes you smile see more of them.

I hope I’m on your list!

♥ Smiler

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times: “breakfast is the most important meal” however there are still a huge amount of people who don’t eat it. The 2 main reasons for this are lack of time and lack of appetising ideas so here are 5 quick and tasty breakies to crack open the new day with during August:-

1. Fruit toast. Find a really good quality fruit bread to toast and smear with a pure nut spread,  I love ABC spread – almond, Brazil & cashew – so good for you but it’s really high in fat so just a smidgen will do. My other 2 fave toppings are fruit jam & fresh ricotta or honey, cinamon and crushed walnuts.

2. Egg pancake. Crack 2 eggs in to a lightly oiled smallish frypan. Break the yolks with a fork and swirl the eggs around pan. Cook for a few minutes then flip and cook for a few minutes. Slide on to a plate and top with zigzags of tomato sauce & pepper (my usual) OR anything you fancy! Sliced tomato, sliced avocado, baked beans. Yes, you can also serve it on toast.

3. Super quick bircher muesli. Mix 1/2 cup of natural muesli with 1 cup of low fat natural yoghurt, add some berries or whatever fruit is handy and eat. Often on Sunday nights I make enough bircher to get me through the entire week then each morning I just spoon a portion in to a bowl & add fruit. so quick, so easy, so yum.

4. Tinned fruit with yoghurt & LSA sprinkles. A very quick, easy & nutritious option. LSA stands for linseed, soy and almond meal and it’s available at health food stores and most supermarkets. I have listed tinned fruit because if it’s ready to go-ness, be sure to buy the varieties in natural juice.

5. A muesli bar & a banana. There a stacks of really good quality muesli bars on the market these days however you’re best to choose the ones which are the least processed and the lowest in fat and sugar. Ask your local health store Smiler for suggestions. If time is often your excuse for not eating breakfast then a banana and a muesli bar is a super quick, super nutritious and delicious option.

Whatever works for you my friend but NO MORE EXCUSES you just have to eat breakie! 

♥  Smiler

SMILER’S SUPER CHICKEN MEATBALLS – by request!

1. Combine the following ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Roll in to balls, whatever size you fancy. I like mine about golf ball size, smaller is good if serving with pasta or rice.

1 kilo chicken mince (I use ½ thigh, ½ breast)

½ cup chopped basil

½ cup chopped parsley

1 egg

½ cup breadcrumbs

S & P to taste

Chilli can be added if desired

 2. Brown the balls in a large fry pan using a good olive oil and transfer to a baking dish.

3. In the same fry pan sauté:-   

2 brown onions – chopped

2 cloves of garlic – crushed

4. When they are soft add:- 

½ cup dry white wine and let it reduce then add

500ml chicken stock

250ml tomato sugo (a good quality tomato puree)

S & P to taste

5. Bring to boil and simmer for 10 minutes then pour over the meatballs.

6. Cover with foil and cook at about 180c for 45 – 60 minutes. It’s a good idea to check the sauce level around the 30 minute mark, if it’s low you can add some more sugo and stock.

Serve with a salad or steamed veg. SERVES 4

Serve with spaghetti/pasta (1 cup of cooked pasta per serve!)  SERVES 6

Of course, freshly grated Parmesan is a must – delicious!

 Suitable for freezing.

Bon appetite.  

♥ Smiler

I always feel a bit sad when I hear people (mainly women in long term relationships with children ) say they have lost their libido, they just don’t feel like sex anymore. In most cases, after some discussion it becomes apparent that they are only speaking about the act of sex itself and are completely disregarding the pure joy of intimacy which I truly believe is one of the most emotionally satsfying things we as humans can be a part of.

I am not for one minute saying  that this is easy to achieve and maintain nor am I suggesting that is is a one sided problem because it isn’t. What I’m saying is that I believe it’s important to address issues of sex and intimacy in long term relationships as soon as there’s a problem. Both couples in any long term relationship NEED to experience intimacy. If you don’t have sex, fine, that’s a different thing all together but intimacy is a must, that is what makes your relationship with each other special AND it is also meets a basic human need - to love and feel loved. The good news is that what will probably happen if you make time for intimacy is that you will have more sex and not just more frequently but more enjoyable. Not a bad result for investing a bit of time for a cuddle! 

1.Exercise. Everyday. Go for a walk, ride your bike, go to an exercise class, take up yoga, swim, jog, play badminton, tennis, touch footy, squash, horse riding, triathlons…anything, just do something physical each day.

2.Eat Well. Eating junk food will not make you feel like taking your clothes off and sharing yourselfwith someone. It will make you feel like lying on the couch eating more junk and watching a movie about someone who is taking their clothes off and sharing themselves with someone. Eat healthy, fresh & light and your frisky side will soon wake up.  

3.Think good things.  The way you think about yourself determines how other people think of you. ie. If you don’t  think you are appealing don’t expect anyone else to think you’re appealing, except perhaps for those who think they’re also unappealing which won’t make for a healthy and strong relationship. If you think negatively about yourself it is essential that you take steps to shift this around because self confidence is the most important part of sexuality. 

There are professionals who deal with sexual disfunction if that’s an issue but I highly recommend you start with the above. At the very least you’ll feel healthier and happier than you do today and at the very best you’ll be enjoying the most satisfying time of your intimate life. I wish all three things for you.

♥ Smiler

There are always articles on the reasons why people don’t exercise which I is not at all helpful for anyone who really does want to get in to the exercise habit.

Please, let your desire to move more be reinforced by my top 10 reasons for becoming a regular exerciser:-

1. You’ll have more energy. Physically & mentally. If you are seriously out of condition it can take up to 8 weeks for this to be realised but it will happen, I guarantee it.

2. You’ll have more emotional tolerance. Being a regular exerciser helps the brain to balance out stress hormones so you’ll be able to manage stress better.

3. You’ll like yourself more. Self esteem increases the moment you start exercising because you are honouring yourself.  Self care = self love, it’s as simple as that.

4. You’ll feel more desirable. When your self esteem increases your sex appeal and libido increases. Self confidence nurtures sexuality which is something to be celebrated don’t you think!

5. You’ll want to eat well. Exercising regularly makes you mindful of your health in general so you will become more selective about what you put in to your body. Food is fuel my friend.

6. You’ll sleep better.  If you are a light, restless or reluctant sleeper then this may well be the best motivation for becoming a regular exerciser, it really does help you sleep well.

7. You’ll be robust. When you are a regular exerciser you always feel healthy and strong. You are less likely to get sick and if you do get sick it takes less time to recover and feel well again.  

8. You’ll lose your baggage. I am referring to excess body fat but I also know that as this decreases so does the emotional baggage attached to it. It is a very gradual but extremely valuable process.

9. You’ll want to do more. Your zest for life will bloom with everyday you exercise. You’ll feel the desire to explore new interests which will open up many exciting doors – carpe diem! 

10. You’ll be happier. Exercising releases ‘feel good hormones’ which help you to think good things. This is what fosters the constant feeling of ‘happiness’  which is what we all desire the most.

My wish is for you to have a healthy attitude to daily exercise because this is the key to living a smiley life.

♥ Smiler